Someone touched my heart last night at the poker table.
I managed to injure my back about 3 weeks ago and have been busy at the doctors and everything you can imagine trying to heal from this debilitating pain. I talked my SO into taking me out for a few hours last night to play a little poker. We ended up at the Mandalay Bay and I sat down to a 3/6 table. And by the way, may of the players we jealous of my really cool scooter I get to ride since I can’t walk very far. lol By the point in the day/evening I’m filled with a crap load of valium and steroids for my 3 bulging discs, etc etc etc… I wasn’t feeling alot of pain but was still quite lucid.
3 gentlemen New Orleans sat down to the table aprox 12-15 years my senior. It was clear they didn’t know how to play and were there to have a good time. Aparently one of the gent’s son was getting married this weekend. We got to talking about marriage and such and they asked me if I were married. I told them I was a widow and on my way to getting married in the future with my special man with whom I’ve recently celebrated a dating anniversary. The man sitting to my right (not part of this group) who was clearly offended by my outplaying him most of the evening took every opportunity to make rather unkind comments about my loss, and everything else he could try to think and push my buttons. I turned to him, looked him in the eye and said “My dear, you can try all night long and the rest of next week with your comments but remember we are at a 3/6 limit table. What you try to do and say here will never even begin to ruffle my feathers. Bury your best friend and spouse, live through it, continue to raise a family and move on with your life and you will understand how very sad and classless your actions are.” It wasn’t soon after he was felted by the Older gents from NOLA and if I were a betting girl, it appeared they did it with great pleasure.
A little while later into the game, one of the gents asked me how long it had been since I had lost my husband. Asked how I’m doing, some of the typical things a person asks trying to be gracious and sensitive to the conversation. A while later, he had left the table and before he left the room he stopped by and whispered in my ear he had been married 26 years and 4 months ago lost his wife suddenly. That speaking with me, and seeing a person such as myself living a happy life again was great hope and ispiration. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him that he would find blessings waiting for him he isn’t aware of at this time. To mourn and heal and the plan for him God has in store will once again give him joy and happiness. I promise.
There are many many times I sit down to a table and have small chit chat with players, sometimes I listen to my ipod and just rake in the money as best I can. Last night it was clear, I was meant to be at that table to have that conversation with that man. I didn’t catch his name and I’m sure I’ll never see him again. I actually got up from the table for a few moments and grabbed my scooter to take a bit away from the table and room. It touched me so deeply I didn’t know how to react. I needed some time to regain my perspective and remember I was there to play poker. It was never far from my thoughts and so much so I woke up and chatted with my SO about it this morning. I knew I had to blog about it. It’s how I get things reconciled from my brain…
What do I take away from the experience as a whole except that I’m clearly not ready to be out doing anything with my back being as bad as it is?? For me, I must be my genuine self. If I know I’m in the mode to to play and socialize that’s what I will do and understand it’s not going to be a big money making session. That’s usually not my intention. However, sometimes life brings you moments and lessons more important than the money on the table in front of you. Maybe that’s why I lose sometimes or don’t make big money that session. There’s clearly a greater lesson or exprience I was destined to embrace than what my own plan had been last night. If I’m genuine and true to myself life brings me riches in many forms, even at the poker table…..
Leave a Reply